The “I-Am-Not-Pregnant” Bread

by Shumaila

Ok.

I am depressed.

and

Mad.

and

hurt.

and

so not pregnant!

Before you get the wrong impression- this is not the case where V and I have been trying and haven’t been able to get pregnant or anything like that. Believe me, pregnancy and a baby is not on our agenda in the near future. We are just not ready.

The story behind such strong emotions and me declaring to everyone that I am not pregnant goes back two days when two photos were posted by two different people on facebook.

Those photos were of me.

A very not pregnant me.

One was clicked in April.

And one in September, on our recent trip to Vegas.

Within hours of my two friends posting those pics of me, three of my other friends messaged/mailed asking whether I was pregnant.

One did not even ask.

She was so sure I was pregnant that she sent me her good wishes and how happy she was that I was pregnant.

The people who posted them are two dear people in my life.

The people who remarked on them are also very dear.

And since they are dear, those remarks hurt me even more.

Now I know how that Home Depot lady felt when my preggo friend’s kid asked her at checkout “Are you pregnant too?”

I’ll tell you how she felt.

She felt devastated!

She felt mortified!

Suddenly, that sandwich she was eating, made her feel like puking. (might as well play the part since you look it, right?!)

And now imagine a situation, where a similar incident happens to the same person three times in a day.

The hurt is that much more.

Ask me.

It makes you go into unimaginable grief.

And if in case you see the remarks just before leaving for your morning jog, all you can think of is how to get to the jogging track as quickly as possible. And how to shed that “no-baby baby bump” (N3B, in short) away.

Of course, because of all the havoc the messages have caused on your mental state, you forget to take your cap or put sunscreen, and are left tanning away to glory, jogging in the hot blazing arizona sun (you would be surprised how strong it can be even at 6.30 in the morning). And unlike fair skinned people, tanning is not welcomed by us “brown people”.

Also gone, is the feeling that jogging is a stress buster.

Everytime your body releases endorphins, your brain releases the words “fat as a pregnant lady” and sends stress signals all over your body.

And during the jog, besides dodging the resounding words “you have a baby bump”, you are also mentally planning your new healthy diet.

Now you are a stressed-out sickly tanned brown girl with a N3B.

Actually you are an out-of-breath, stressed-out, sickly tanned brown girl with a N3B.

Once home and once you have stopped panting like a mad dog, you turn to the guru of all healthy food bloggers, Heidi Swanson for healthier recipes to fit your newly resolved diet plan.

This is one such recipe.

Heidi names it the “Easy Little Bread” recipe.

I, aptly, have named it the “I-am-not-Pregnant” Bread.

And for those who are worried I’ll stop posting about the good stuff full of butter and cream-

-don’t worry-

I’m eating some chocolate to take care of that depression of mine!;)

THE I-AM-NOT-PREGNANT BREAD

FYI this bread is absolutely delicious!

adapted from 101 cookbooks

Makes 1 loaf.

  • 1 1/4 cups / 300 ml warm water (105-115F)
  • 2 teaspoons active dry yeast (one packet)
  • 1 tablespoon molasses (Heidi used honey but I thought I’ll try with molasses)
  • 1 cup / 4.5 oz / 125 g unbleached all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/4 cup / 5 oz / 140 g whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 cup ground flaxseeds, mixed with 3 tbsp poppy seeds and 2 tbsp wheat germ (Heidi used oats but since I did not have any I decided a healthier spin)
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons fine grain sea salt
  • 2 tablespoons butter, melted, for brushing
  1. In a medium bowl, sprinkle the yeast onto the warm water and stir until the yeast dissolves. Stir in the molasses and set aside for a few minutes, until the yeast blooms and swells a bit – 5 – 10 minutes.
  2. In the meantime, mix the flours, ground flax seeds, poppy seeds and wheat germ and salt in a large bowl. Add the wet mixture to the dry and stir very well.
  3. Brush a 8-cup loaf pan generously with some of the melted butter. Turn the dough into the tin, cover with a clean, slightly damp cloth, and set in a warm place for 30 minutes, to rise.
  4. Preheat the oven to 350F / 180C, with a rack in the middle. When ready, bake the bread for 35-40 minutes, until golden and pulling away from the sides of the pan. I followed Heidi’s tip to finish things up by leaving the bread under the broiler for just a heartbeat – to give the top a bit deeper color.
  5. Remove from oven, and turn the bread out of the pan quickly. Let it cool on a rack so it doesn’t steam in the pan. Serve warm, slathered with butter (or not if you want to get rid of that N3B).
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